You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
