Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
