I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
