Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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