she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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