Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
