Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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