Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
