What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I had to cum in my sink.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
