is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
