I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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