Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
