I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
