is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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