remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize