you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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