do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
