I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
