It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
