So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
they're like a gay fantastic four
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
