"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize