are you so shy because you have an std?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize