I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
