I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
