She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
