More tranny stories later!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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