high people should be assigned attendants
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
