so that wasnt chicken after all
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
