I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
