i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
