Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
