shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
