my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
