do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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