He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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