Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize