"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
