someone get that fucking seahorse.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
