Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
