Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
