Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
