Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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