with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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