Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
it was like eating out sand paper
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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