Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
