Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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