The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize