I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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