But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
