hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
