oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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