FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
