My brain says no but my pants say off.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
