I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize