you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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