Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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