So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
