I cockslap morals
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
