'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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